An Update

16.6.12


Ello everyone! Just a quick update on how I’ve been….
So, as most of you know, I’m struggling big time down here. A huge stressor was my job as a deep water lifeguard. So, I decided to take my own advice found in my last post; I asked to transfer jobs.
I am now working in food service at the big and beautiful All Star Movies resort, which I love. My manager is an elderly Puerto Rican woman who is absolutely hilarious. My coworkers are friendly and welcoming. The environment is far less stressful, and even air conditioned.
But despite having a change of scenery, I’m still losing my mind. And it’s because:
I haven’t slept more than 3 hours a night in 33 days.
And it’s taking its toll on me.

From snoring roommates to inconsiderately loud housemates, I’ve decided this “living with other people” thing isn’t for me. The biggest problem that I’m learning to deal with is inconsiderate people.
Two of the three roommates I’ve had, don’t care that they snore louder than a foghorn at the beginning of a football game. [You know it's loud if I can't sleep. I'm the deepest sleeper I've ever met.] They don’t care that I can’t sleep, even if I’m taking 2 Tylenol PM’s every night and wearing earplugs. That’s my problem, not theirs. 
My seven other housemates [who don’t get along at all and put me at the center of every argument] come in every morning at 3 am, slamming doors, laughing and singing loudly, and blaring music. And they don’t care that I have work at 5 am. They don’t care that there are other people in the house trying to sleep.
Case and Point: they don’t care about anyone but themselves.

And I’m sick of it because I’m not wired that way.

One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.
Sometimes I feel like there’s no point in being a nice person. We get stepped on, taken advantage of, and there’s never any respect for us. My whole life I’ve believed that people are inherently good and compassionate. I look for the good in each person, no matter who they are.
But I guess I’m a dying breed. For the real world is selfish.

People are disgustingly selfish.

And for me, an unselfish person, this is the hardest lesson to learn. That people really don’t care about other people.

And that is why I haven’t slept in 33 days.

Now, I am trying to move out into another, nicer apartment, but the waitlist is about 23 girls long, so who knows how long it could take. So for now I’m stuck watching Lost all night, working from 5 am to 1 pm and sleeping all evening. Yes, I live a charmed life.

What frustrates me about this whole College Program situation is how incredibly hard it is. My coworkers joke about how “CP” doesn’t stand for “College Program”, it stands for “Company Property”. But it’s true. This is a full time job where “making magic” for the guests, drains it right out of you.
Disney is so very, very strict about their expectations that you have to conform to, this housing situation is a joke, I’m not sleeping so I’m cranky 24/7, there's extra pressure being the only Mormon in my house and workplace, and of course, on top of it all I’m homesick.
I never thought I’d say this but: I miss Utah.
It’s true. I’ve never wanted to come home so badly.
I’ve never been so tempted to give up.
And that scares me because that’s not who I am. I don’t give up.
But should I?

I guess only time will tell…

Mischief Managed.

_Kynia

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3 comments

  1. I was in a creative writing class with a girl who had done a summer at WDW through the same program. She wrote about her experience as a lifeguard and it was one of the best things I've read in a writing class, ever. It's the paradox of Disney magic and pure hell that made it so fascinating. I think you've got the material here for the same thing. If you decide to stay, could you shift your thinking and turn it into one of those "this is so horrible I have to laugh at it" kind of things? Or imagine yourself as an undercover journalist, there to record just how ridiculous the whole situation is? Write it as a memoir when you're done. Seriously, people eat this stuff up, but someone has to go through it to be able to write about it. Just a thought. :)

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  2. Dear Kynia.. i know it is selfish for me to beg you to stay... But here I am. I need you. I don't know if I can do this whole Disney thing without you. It's only my very first week and it's been hell. Seriously, my roommates are chill and if you ever need a place to crash, come sleep in my bed. None of us are home between like 3 and 9 and even then, it's only me coming home.. Its gonna get harder..
    Would you regret leaving? If you got all the way back home to Utah in a week, let's say..Would you regret leaving? Would you look back and be like: "Oh.. Well I was in Florida and I could have done some things on my bucket list (HP theme park baby), but my roommates ruined it." I gots a whole list of things I wanna do before I leave this state, and I wanna do them with you:) We can make it through this. Seriously, the only reason I am begging you to stay is because of all the opportunities we have to do some things that people only dream of, or can't do for years.

    I know this is screwed up, Disney is brutal, and we are so very far from home... But could you give it all up and not try to stay, even if it was just long enough to fulfill some of your dreams? love you girl :)

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  3. Wow, Kynia. You are a great person! This kinda thing sounds extremely rough and hard, but I believe you can do hard things Kynia. I've always seen you as being a person with strength. So hang it there and I know you can do great things! Plus you have God on your side when you're doing your best to do what is good and right. And someone once told me that YOU + GOD = MAJORITY. I admire that you are trying to stay happy and positive through this which is no picnic with all those selfish and rude people. You go girl!

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